Strange lights shimmering over the sea tonight...

...and it almost blows my mind.

Ah gotta love Girl From Mars. One of the best songs ever recorded and never gets tired, I reckon. If I had a meter to record the number of times I've listened to this song, it would read something close to 90239283882842928371820402391872. Every moment of it is beautiful. Even with Tim Wheeler's off vocals. Every moment of it is right.

Yes yes Hanson concert review is on its way. Taking friggin ages to write it up.

Some random comments that I need to get out of my system:

-I bloody hate asians at times. Were asians brought up to be rude, demanding and self-absorbed? I'm sorry, but I rarely get a "thank you" when I serve asians, it's such a negative reflection on our culture. Oh, yes I am asian myself. I've grown to not expect any word of thanks when I serve asians. A chinese boy around his 20s bumped heavily into me while I was carrying drinks but he never bothered to even mutter a sorry. Girls sit their LV Speedys on the chair next to them and point to their table, indicating they want me to clear/clean it, whilst displaying a "I know I'm better than you" look. Please. Just because you're using daddy's money doesn't make you better than me. Just because you have an LV bag doesn't make you all that. You're not the only person who can afford an LV bag. JUST BECAUSE YOU USE FRIGGIN DADDY'S MONEY. A chinese boy around his early 20s was bragging to his girl friends how he got his shirt (it was an ugly pink linen shirt) on discount for $1000 something. Dude, you got ripped off. Big time. Puhleese who wants to know this shit? Seriously. And how about the damn asians that just point to the used plates on their table and say "Clean". Piss off I'm not your maid at home. I friggin hate asians sometimes. People give me the shits.

-Gotta love the good vibe between co-workers at work to keep each other sane. And you can always expect jokes from one or two to keep us going, no matter how bad the day is. And of course, I always look forward to those one or two customers during the day that make me smile, like those that go out of their way to say thank you before they leave, or those that seem to understand what a tough day it's been. One couple was memorable - they had 2 little animal shaped things stuck on short ice cream wooden sticks on their table when I served them, so I asked them what they were, thinking they were chocolates at first. They explained that they were erasers, and asked me to smell the orange horse. Sad but true, that made my Monday. (Thank you, for getting me that eraser eventually)

-Gosh I absolutely love the feeling of freshly waxed legs. I've forgotten how good they feel. When you're lying in bed in the morning, you reach down and discover that your pjs have ride up your leg, and you run your palm along your legs. Mm. Beautiful smoothness. Clean.

-I've become so bitter. So so so so bitter. I mean, not like I wasn't before, but gosh soo much more now. At work, I'm like an old granny that's angry at everyone and everything. Ocassionally, I'll be cranky and catch myself stopping and thinking, "Wait a minute, what thought just crossed my mind? Is this the same me? What is work doing to me?" Heck, nowadays when I can't seem to motivate myself to be upbeat, on the ball and be nice to customers for the entire day, I tell myself that all these customers are going to die tomorrow and that they're spending their last moments on earth here, so I should be nice to them. AAHH how bitter I am. And yes, this works.

-I need more books lined up for me to read! I remember a few years ago, I did a questionaire and I when I was given the choice of what to do if I had the entire night off to myself, I chose "Spend it curled up in a warm blanket with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate" over "Partying with friends". Maybe I'm just overly picky and anti-social.

-The Girl From Ipanema manages to put a smile on my face no matter how terrible I'm feeling. Yes yes I'm corny. I love it when it comes on at work.. that's if I can even hear it behind everyone in the shop yack yack yacking away.

-Why do you remind me so much of him sometimes? You somehow bring out the demons that I have tried so hard and managed to ignore and put away. Bad memories. Me being dumb not just once. My lowest points. I thought that I had faced down those demons. I've started having bad dreams. Dammit before that my dreams were never unpleasant. You're probably not even there anymore. I don't think you're there anymore. But then again, I've somehow never believed you were there in the first place. And I couldn't ask that question. I couldn't see it to be able to ask it. How stupid could I be? How stupid am I still? When will I stop being stupid. When will I say I'd rather stay stupid.

Currently listening to: Ash - Girl From Mars (not surprising, really)