Gotta move on?

It was when he called, with his usual nonchalant swearing and inconsideration, and when he hung up when I was still talking, whilst I was trying to get a word in, when I couldn't hold it together anymore.

Have I been missing out on a lot? As bitter as the person I am, do I actually secretly crave for that much more? Am I just another girl after all? I hate admitting this. But. I. Friggin. Need. Affection. Sometimes. I. Do. I. Need. To. Feel.

It's almost comical how things have evolved. How I used to think it would be. Am I not good enough for you? Why do I always live for everyone else apart from myself? Why has it become like this? At which point did it start going downhill?

The fantastic thing about me is that you can never tell that I've been crying. And that I can burst into laughter while crying. It's such a thin, thin line.

Thank you. Thank you for holding me. Thank you for talking to me. Thank you for wiping away my tears with your hand. I haven't had someone do that for me for over a year or longer. Thank you for being able to erase the mistakes I've made, and still believe in me. I'm looking forward to drinking wine with you again after 10 years, marking it as the 22nd year we've known each other.

It takes courage. It does. And regret is what makes life perfect.

Currently listening to: Lifehouse - You and Me