Finger-licious fun!

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it's going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you've never met anyone
As negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
As positive as I am sometimes

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone
As closed down as I am sometimes

I am the funniest woman that you have ever known
I am the dullest woman that you have ever known
I am the most gorgeous woman that you have ever known
And you’ve never met anyone
As everything as I am sometimes

You see everything you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can't relate
And you're still here

I remember lying in bed awake, on the first night the first time I was no longer single. I remember feeling so ecstatic, so insanely happy that I couldn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. All I could do was just lie there, with a smile on my face stretching from one ear to the other, thinking about how delariously happy I was. I remember I prayed that night, for everyone in the world to be able to experience the same amount of happiness I was feeling for at least once in their lives.

That night seems like light years away. During those years, I've grown up (well, a little), I've grown paranoid, I've become wary, I've become jaded, and I've developed passive aggressiveness. But I've never stopped smiling. And neither should you. Smile at idiots. Smile at faggots. Smile at imbeciles. Just keep smiling. And of course, it helps to be in the service industry. A permanent fake smile and faux cheeriness is always retrievable.

I no longer find myself lying in bed awake, due to being overly happy, but rather due to recollecting unspoken words and unspoken thoughts, or reflecting on recent events, which usually lead to other random bits and pieces, which may end up pissing myself off and result in me having difficulty to fall asleep because I'm scared I'll start dreaming about these things that piss me off. But most of the time, I lie there feeling grateful. To be able to love. To be loved.

Tomorrow's a brand new day.

Currently listening to: Antonio Carlos Jobim - Wave