I think God can explain

WHOAAA I feel a majorrrrr rant coming along it's bursting from every pore of mine.

I hate admiting that a fellow human being is my piller of strength and my support system. I mean, a human being. Urgh. That's just disgusting. And that a word that he may choose wrongly for the context, or a simple phrase that may strike a sensitive chord inside me, or simply not agreeing with me CAN MAKE ME GO MENTAL WHEN I AM HAVING MY FRIGGIN PMS. AAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok. Ahem. People have said to me numerous times, "Don't let your hormones control you, you must control your hormones." Ya ya ya. Yeah I heard you the first time, just because I don't respond doesn't mean I didn't hear you. It probably means I'm (a) deep in thought (b) annoyed by you (c) annoyed by your stupidity (d) dumbfounded that you were so annoying (e) all of the above. I mean it when I say I can cry within seconds during these times. For these few days, there's always this tightness in my chest, sort of a mixture of sourness and frustration and just this pang of.. disturbance. And everytime I have this feeling in my chest, it's that feeling of being on the verge between being composed and.. well, going hysterical and getting all upset and start throwing chairs around and beating the crap out of people and screaming like some mad woman (well ok, maybe no flying chairs). And it normally takes 10 seconds for the transition. Well, of course, it depends on what upsets me as well. From discovering he was looking at someone else's ass to realizing that he's stopped complimenting me ever since we hooked up (Why, mission accomplished? So you think you don't have to be nice anymore?)

Then again there's the thing about me. You see, I don't like talking very much. Simply because I don't express myself very well when I open my mouth. That I don't like my choice of words sometimes. That everytime I try to explain myself I get people upset. That I'm always using inappropriate words. That people seldom see eye to eye with me. That I think I'm better off quiet. That I like being quiet. That I don't exactly like to tell you bastards what's on my mind otherwise you'll think I'm some crazy bitch. So I keep it to myself, keep it all inside, bottled up. Most of the time I make mental notes to myself. Man, they don't call me the silent sufferer for nothing.

So I just smile and nod. Smile and nod. Smile and nod. Works every time.

And am I the only human being alive who thinks porn is bad? I think it's evil. Very evil. Porn makes me lose faith in humanity and the world.

Well. Anyways. The world is an evil place to live in anyway.

Currently listening to: Relient K - Getting Into You