哭久了会累

..那么我为什么还是这么爱哭?

Dammit Jay Chou, I love you but everytime I listen to your music I get so fucking emo.

For some bizarre reason, I really like beating myself up by comparing what I have achieved vs what my ex-boyfriends have achieved post breakup. A year on, he's bought a house and has moved interstate. Less than a year on, he's bought a house and has changed jobs. Over a year on, he's bought a car and has climbed the corporate ladder. And me? I've done nothing. I'm still exactly where I was left off and nothing has changed. Now isn't that sad....

Most of what occupies my mind consists of numbness. Of boredom, of placidity, of grey. Is this the mid-20s crisis they've been talking about?

It's no secret that I'm a walking paradox. One of my biggest fears has always been fear of being alone; of feeling lonely, yet I enjoy being on my own. But if one of the reasons why people enter relationships is to avoid being lonely, then why do I feel so alone most of the time?

Maybe I'm better off alone.

Currently listening to: 周杰伦 - 说了再见